can men and women be just good friends?

Why not? I'm not of the opinion that a guy and a girl has to be interested in each other romantically to want to be friends. In fact, I kind of despise it when guys are nice to you just because they are hoping they can hook up with you. Shallow lah.

I have several close friends who are male, and most of them are attached. We can talk just about anything and everything, and even if we haven't seen each other for months, even years, there isn't a moment of awkwardness when we meet up. There's no gawking silence where you're cracking your head trying to think of topics to relieve the situation while acting as if it's all cool. Nada. It's just like going to a new room and lying on a bed that's as comfy as your own. Weird sort of description, but I just can't explain it in better ways. You know you're good friends when silence is comfortable between you two.

In fact, if my memory serves me well, I've always been closer to male friends than to female friends. Somehow you don't get the feeling that they're probably backstabbing you, or they secretly hate your guts. Being with guy friends is when you can be really goofy, swear like a pirate, do disgusting things and laugh about it.

So yes, I think the opposite sex can just be friends WITHOUT thinking of taking the friendship further. I just told a guy friend yesterday - do you know why I'm close friends with some guys as in I don't mind going out one on one with them? It's because I'm comfortable being just friends. I mean, if something else were to happen, I'd avoid the guy like the plague.
It's happened before, not often, but definitely occurred sometime in the past, where a guy friend has admitted being romantically interested in me. What happens then? Awkward silences and goodbye to good ole days of movie or makan dates. Nah, if I treat you like a friend, it means you are that and nothing more. Let's not push it.

Good friends are those who understand that, and treat you well because they cherish you and enjoy your company. On the other hand, guys who take you out and treat you well or really go all the way out to make you happy just because they want to be in a relationship with you aren't really friends - they are just acquaintances who went down the wrong path. Don't get me wrong; it's not like these guys are jerks, many a time they are decent people, which is why you became friends with them in the first place. All I'm saying is, friendships like these aren't really genuine because there is a motive involved, and these friendships usually turn sour after rejection. That's just plain sad.

But yes, I am lucky, because I have good guy friends who aren't in it for something. I happen to have a pic of some of them. These are the friends whom I usually meet once a year or once every 2 years? yeah, they're not people i hang out all the time with because they're in different places, but definitely people I can just call anytime to sob about a breakup. Haha. I wont go into details as to how I knew them and all that coz that's in my old Friendster blog anyway.


Aik Ping, whom I meet once or twice a year. We've known each other since I was 17. Our mothers were colleagues once too. He's working now, but this Sunday he's bringing his new gf to meet me and have dinner.
Chian Ping - known to others as my Korean friend. He's not a Korean, but a Malaysian studying in Korea. We meet only once a year - during Chinese New Year hols. Every year, without fail. He has a gf whom I've never seen because she's from China. He was my best guy friend when I was miserable in UITM. CP do you remember the time I yelled at a kid for torturing a cat in the park and you got so shocked that you quickly apologized to his dad??
Yuk Heng. My dear kawan from orientation. This was when I went down to Melaka last year to visit him and other friends. During orientation we were both selected to participate in a sketch for the Green Group and we won! And do you remember the times when we played the game where everyone had to yell a name and you were the unlucky one who always kena because your surname is Ha and whenever anyone said "Har?" it would be taken to mean you anyway?Lolz.